19 posts tagged “angry”

I'll cry with you if I have to
I'll try and make you laugh
I'll stand by you if you feel alone
I'll be your company
I'll sit with you when you want to cry
I'll try and convince you that your life is worth living

But if you want sympathy, go somewhere else.

Don't expect me to feel sorry for you
Don't expect me to try and snatch that rope away from your hands
Don't expect me to cry because you think you can't "be strong anymore"
Don't expect me to beg you to stop hurting yourself in the ways I do to myself just so you can make a trade

I hate you when you get like this

You want to kill yourself?
You want to hurt?
You want to torture your own mind?
Lie to yourself?
Cry yourself to sleep?
Cling on?

Fine.
Go ahead and fucking do it.
Don't tell me your grand plans.

You want to die?
Then don't give me the gun to keep.
I want NO part in this.
Just leave me alone.
I need no more nightmares.

You are weak and pathetic.
And you fall further in my eyes every single day

The joker was right
Even the best of us fall
Well, you know what I've realized?
I never liked the best amongst us much anyway.

No.
Really.

So, I'm on and as of now tuned into channel "Make yourself miserable". What am I doing in this place? I don't like law. Well, it's okay I suppose... But only in the "It will do... for now" kinda way. Not the "I wanna do this for the rest of my life" way. I want nothing to do with law.

Angry Sarcastic Bitch: Why don't you just quit then?
Annoying responsible loser : Because I fought to get in here. Fought with Dad and every one sitting in B_____ and D____ wanting me to go stay/study with them! I fought to get to Law School!!! How can I tell my parents I don't wanna stay?! And besides, it's not like I have an alternate plan or anything. It's not like I can go up to them and say "Oh, guys. Sorry. Just realized it's not law that I'm interested in, but XXX (Astronomy, Biology, whatever). Why? Coz there is no XXX.

But the truth is, I didn't come here to do law. From the start, It was just about getting away. Well, I'm away from home now... but stupid blissfully ignorant me is just waking up to the fact that the whole world is more or less the same... At least in this dimension. Or society. Whatever you want to call it. The fact remains that I can't just walk up to my parents and tell 'em I'm sick of living like... well, who? People my parents would call respectable? Normal?

What am I doing? I'm studying something I don't care bout, in order to get a job I don't want so that I can make money I won't need to buy things I'm happier without!

I do have an alternate plan actually> Go to Goa/Gokarna/quiet place, open a small cafe like place, earn just enough money to keep a roof over my head and manage basic food and clothing stuff. I want to wake up each morning to the sound of the ocean and the birds... I want to work in a small quiet place where random people will come and go, where my life may not make any significant changes to the world... but it will be mine. Completely. I want to own myself. And I want to go to sleep tired and content. (Stoned would be an added benefit ^_*) Then why don't I just go ahead and go?

Because... because I don't know how to do that to my parents. Not yet. Because even though somewhere deep down I'm sure that it would be the better option, I don't know how to get that across. There's also the fact that it's contingent on other people, but I could work around that. I know I could... It matters, but it's a little bump in the ground compared to the volcano of an issue my parents will be...

So, I stay here. Stuck. reading things that mildly interest me - if I'm lucky, getting wasted ever so often, doing things I shouldn't be doing just because I shouldn't be doing them and so on.

It's like the TV is on, but the only signal I'm catching is this society's... and it's so powerful that every time I try to tune in to any other channel, the societal signal keeps interfering with the new signal... leaving me with nothing but static. I know I'll have to try further frequencies. I know it's definitely out there somewhere.. but a little part of me tells me not to try... coz it's afraid that this is the only signal out there. And if I go too far - out of range -  I'll be left with nothing but silence... and I won't be able to come back...

So I choose the known evil. Static. Always just at the edge, but never leaving coz I'm afraid I won't know the way back. And I may need to come back because I'm not sure if there's anything out there. And even if there is I don't know if I'll find it...

Turned on, but can't tune in till she drops out... Can't drop out till she finds where to drop out to. And can't find out where to drop out to till she tunes in.

The cycle continues.

And I stay stuck in the rut.

What now Mr. Leary? What now?

He walks straight to his room,
head slightly bowed.
Eyes on the floor.
No one is home.
But just in case...

Locking the door behind him
he sits on the floor
and sighs

Looking down at his white school uniform
he decides
changing would be a good idea
He learned a long time ago
Blood on his clothes freaked his mother out
Even his father
when he himself wasn't the reason.

She walks into the house cautiously
announces her arrival
Is puzzled when no one replies
Then remembers they went out to see a movie
Sighs
Telling them about her grades could wait
Die another day starts playing in her head and she bangs her head against the wall to drive it out.
Stupid pop culture addict neighbors!

She gets grounded for a week
It doesn't really bother hes
Her friends were getting annoying anyway
Lying on the floor on her back
she watches shadows dancing on the ceiling
and smiles
This was meant to be punishment?

I don't know how he can sleep in peace after all that he's done. Is he not educated? Does he not know how the British divided this country? And so successfully?

I look at the board and its full of fanatical mass messages half typed in Marathi. If you don't need the rest of the world, then why are you using these computers? Why not wait till Maharashtra invents its own?

These petty politics make me sick. If India is ever to rise in the world, if it is ever to be respected outside, then this has to end.

Raj Thackeray should have been put in jail long ago on grounds of sedition.

Oh yeah, and if he's so true a Marathi, why is his name Thackeray?

India is one. Those who try to take advantage of the castes and regional politics deserve worse than death. They deserve to be damned. Mr. Thackeray has NO right to threaten the government!

The people need to stop acting like sheep and destroying public property. Don't they see its their own tax money???

When will our country ever learn???

Imagine this:

You are walking down a crowded market road with your little brother. Because he's only 13, your mother has asked you to keep an eye on him. So that he doesn't get lost, or kidnapped. That kind of thing. It is quite crowded today. So you grumble and sigh but agree and have been keeping an eye on him all morning. He's been behaving, which is a good thing, but he's a good kid anyhow and you smile when you think of the ice-cream you're planning to reward him with at the end of this trip. It'll make him happy and he'll probably flash that happy silly smile at you. The one you keep making fun of, but secretly adore.

You buy some flowers for the project you're supposed to work on tonight while your little brother ogles at a gaming console at the other side of the street. Its getting late, so you decide to head back. You don't wanna be late for lunch after all. The place just seems to have gotten even more crowded and you urge your brother to hurry. A black motorcycle makes its way into the narrow street and you frown in annoyance. people move out of the way and you too take a step back, holding on to your little brother's hand. The black motorcycle makes its way slowly and carefully through the crowded street. As it nears, one of the two riders - who are both in black - drops a black polythene bag with what looked like a lunch box inside. Pulling his hand away from yours, your goody-two-shoes brother hops forward and picks it up. You look at him and roll your eyes in exasperation, but you can't help but feel proud of him. He's your little brother and he's turned out alright. You smile and think to yourself that perhaps you should buy him two cones of ice-cream instead of just one. You notice a nearby old lady smiling at your kid brother as he picks up the packet and turns to the bikers, and your pride soars even higher.

"Brother, your packet has fallen..."

Those are the last words you hear him say before the blast.

Those are the last words you ever hear him say...

_________________________________________________________________________________________

A thirteen year old boy was killed today in a Delhi market as he attempted to return a fallen packet to its owners. Unfortunately for the young sincere child, they did not want their "packet" which turned out to be a low intensity bomb. The last words heard by eyewitnesses and his relations were ‘brother, your packet has fallen.’

http://www.indianexpress.com/news/delhi-blast-honesty-turns-fatal-for-boy/366708/

My deepest condolences go to the family and friends of the child...

Sometimes I can't take the phone ringing
Over and over, it glows
I don't want to hear your voice
I don't want to talk
Leave me alone!
So, I pretend to be asleep
Pretend to be away
Because apologizing is so much easier
than forcing inside the pain
and then maybe I can believe
You won't call again...

Circles circles everywhere
I am sick of this, show me a square
A triangle, or even a parallelogram
I'm talking math since real life feels like a scam!
Don't look for hidden meanings
You will surely find none
If they were meant to be seen
they'd be painted as yellow as the sun
But in black and white
its only the shadows you see
Could always be a trick of light
Like in a bad photocopy
Words strung together
don't always mean something real
especially when all they talk about
is how someone feels
Feelings, emotions can go drown
Preferably in the deepest well
And if they drag all of humanity with them
heh, that would just be swell!