3 posts tagged “bleed”
“What would happen if I went too deep?
Would I ever wake from this eternal sleep?
Would you miss me, would you cry?
Would you ever wonder why?”
The floor feels strangely cold.
As cold as snow.
Too far…
An accident…
But no one will ever believe that…
A frown.
Shakes head. Doesn’t really matter.
Won’t at all once she’s asleep.
And this time, she doesn’t even need to worry bout wakin up.
Miss her?
Not really.
Besides, they’ll move on.
Forget.
Cry perhaps.
But forget nonetheless…
Except on cold nights when she’d come back to walk in the snow outside their homes…
Then they’d remember…
And shed a few more tears.
…Perhaps.
Or smile at the distant memory of the girl they once knew…
Or thought they knew… till the morning she killed herself.
“A mistake” she whispers.
But there’s no one listening.
Jus like always….
And jus like always…
No one would believe her
“It was a mistake…” she writes
She never meant to go that deep...
I was wonderin why I really did cut... and well, these are all the reasons I came up with... will keep updating...
Coz I need to feel. Pain is a feeling, and I need it to tell me I'm still alive
Coz it feels like I've been havin a dream... and I jus' can't wake from it...
Coz it bothers me to see my outer skin look so whole and unbroken while I feel jus' so torn...
To bring myself back, coz I go so far away that I'm afraid that someday, I won't be able to return...
To remind myself.
Coz I can't cry
Coz its a habit
Coz I wonder how much I can really take
Coz I loathe the person I'm turnin into... or maybe hav already become...
Coz I'm afraid of losing control
Coz I prefer pain to nothingness
Coz nothin matters
To watch me heal,... even if it IS jus' on the outside...
Coz I want to remember
Coz I need to forget...
Coz I need to hurt, before rage consumes me... I'm afraid if not me, I'll jus' hurt someone else...
I stand here beside you
and I bleed.
Slowly I die, slowly I fade,
and I forget to breathe.
You laugh and talk and love and smile,
while I try not to fall,
And wait for you to look my way
Instead of waitin for me to call...
With every drop that leaves my soul,
It gets harder to breathe.
I grow so tired, I grow so cold,
And all the time I bleed.
You finally look my way,
And ask if I'm alright.
I smile and tell you I'm okay,
And break further inside
She says I'll be fine,
And I remind myself to breathe
You walk away waving goodbye
While I stay behind to bleed...
