3 posts tagged “drugs”

I look into your eyes
waiting for a sign...
for a trace, a shred of memory
of what you'd left behind

Instead I see just darkness
Staring out at us all
A smile that reveals just as much
as an empty dilapidated wall

Where did your laugh go?
That never failed to make me smile
Where did your strength go?
That kept us going all this while

I turn away, tired of waiting
and I want to walk away
I don't know how to tell you
you haunt me night and day

But a step is all I can take
Before you quietly say my name
and suddenly I'm back to the day we met
and everything is the same

I tried so hard to catch you
But all I could do was watch you fall
Now I turn around again
How can I walk away when my name you call?

House parties and alcohol
Smoking and roofs
Laughter and conversation
Photo sessions and chuckles
Boys and ...well... nothing
A New family and interrogations
Confessions and surprises
Vows and promises
Stairways and sleep
College and phone calls
Drugs and the internet

Memories...

A rainless part of twelve. Cold doesn’t seem the same anymore. And now, again I stand where I once stood.

The same, but just so different.

A few more days. Then it would have been a year. Ravens shriek and robins sing. And I miss the fire of the stars. 66. Should have got further.

The name’s Bond. James Bond. And then we all fall down.

To the end of the bottomless pit.

How many special people change?

Do they remain the same people? Are they still special?

If so, then why were there never any phone calls?

Why couldn’t there be any conversation?

“Yes darling, everything’s fine. I’m ok. How have you been?”

Senseless. Pointless.

“No, I’m not sleepy. It’s the drugs.”

Hurtful. True.

Click. Light. Drag.

Over and over.

Till everything is on the other side of the haze.

And if you concentrate hard enough, the voices stay there too. So you listen to none except the ones in your head.

“No. It’s not coz I was avoiding you.”

Lies.

Mine.

Songs that sing themselves.

Why have you forsaken me?

God doesn’t forsake any of his children.

And then darkness claims the fire. And she dances away happily into the cold.

And I know these voices in my head are mine alone.

“Don’t isolate yourself.”

I’m not. I’m jus isolating everyone else.

And they all fall down.

I just go higher. And higher.

What goes up has got to fall.