7 posts tagged “fade”

Romanov will always be in love with Mop
HR will never stop
Mave and I will keep trying to be who we once more
Grades will keep falling
Surya will always be the favorite after-exam/before party/farewell party/end of project submission/general hanging out bar.
Strawberry Fields will always end in three days.
[And I will always be devastated at the end. :(]
People will leave...
Scars will never fade
And I will keep listening to the same song...

I look into your eyes
waiting for a sign...
for a trace, a shred of memory
of what you'd left behind

Instead I see just darkness
Staring out at us all
A smile that reveals just as much
as an empty dilapidated wall

Where did your laugh go?
That never failed to make me smile
Where did your strength go?
That kept us going all this while

I turn away, tired of waiting
and I want to walk away
I don't know how to tell you
you haunt me night and day

But a step is all I can take
Before you quietly say my name
and suddenly I'm back to the day we met
and everything is the same

I tried so hard to catch you
But all I could do was watch you fall
Now I turn around again
How can I walk away when my name you call?

Change.

For the longest time, I thought I was fond of change, not just used to it.
Life has been full of change.

But you know, you'd think that moving to a new place every two years gives you enough opportunities to become a new person every time. A new school, new friends, new house(s), new rooms, new surroundings... you get what I mean...

However, the truth is, you never get to start over. Every where that I went, there were - well - people I knew. And who knew me. There was someone I had to be. Some things I had to do. I made up for it by being almost completely random. To a point where I could do anything and no one would do more than blink. Coz I was Jade.

I was supposed to be that way.

I made myself that way.

Cut to the present. Or at least to a year ago.
I enter NLS. B'lore.
I know not a single soul.
I'm in a city I've never lived in.
I have no relatives living within a hundred mile radius.
And I've come here because I am tired of fading away.
I've come here to burn bright and turn to ash.

Instead...
I seem to have accidentally pressed some sort of restart button.

Nesthead-kun and I were talkin today.
About the conversation from a lifetime ago. When he told me I should visit a psychiatrist, and if it helped he was ready to come along. *rolls eyes*
...
It was very nice of him though...

We went and saw the half constructed weird building like thing.
It still stands.
And he says, so does what he once told me, a million lifetimes ago...

I smile.

I don't intend to die here.
Not anymore.
I may.
Especially if I don't get off this "highway to hell"
But you know what?
I've taken my foot off the accelerator.

"Life is ours, we live it our way..."

I just saw a messenger of death butterfly/moth.
Ironic.
*smiles*

And just the fact that I say "ironic" and not look upon it as an omen means... well, things have changed...

I started out on this post trying to talk about how I realized, just a few weeks ago, that I loathed change.
But in the process, I guess what I learned was, that this time, things have changed...
and

I don't mind...

*smiles*

What if...
you're never proved wrong?
you don't ever get to say what you had to...
you don't ever make it to the hill...
you go back on your word
you fall, and can not get back up
you lose
you never learn
you learn, but don't know what to do with your lesson
you fail
you can't protect them
you lie
you can't control things around you
you end up looking for excuses
someone you believed in trips you
you're too late
you keep falling

I guess...
you just stand up again... and keep walking
coz losing with honor...
is better than hating yourself for staying alive...

I love this song...

It's... perfect...

You can make that out just from the opening itself...

Moth... by Audioslave.

12 - Moth

Thought I was different, it seems I'm just the same

As again I put my hand over the flame...

Explains everythin you ever felt but couldn't put in words...

Every single time, you think that this time, it'll be different...

This time, you won't fall...

that you won't let the same thing happen ever again...

but it always does...

Thought I was smarter as I flew into the sun

...

I don't fly around your fire anymore...

It's what you keep tellin yourself... but no matter how many times you burn, and how many times you fall, you always crawl back to the light...

Over and over...

Like a dying moth...

I love the heat, I love the things that I forgot

I love the strings that tie me down and cut me off

And it's true...

You really do...

Just like dreams you can't remember...

no matter the pain they cause...

you love them, because you know they mean that there IS an answer...

and it's not just the darkness out there...

When did the flame burn so high and get so hot...

And how didn't you notice?

The flames creeping higher and higher...

Maybe because that also meant it was getting so much brighter...

and sometimes,... chasing away the dark is worth getting burned...

Why do you stay?

Every time...

Why?

You know what happens when you get too close to the flames...

when you stay too long...

You know exactly what happens...

and yet you stay...

Why?

I wouldn't really know...

but in the end... I guess... isn't it better to burn brightly for a while than fade away slowly into the cold night?

Maybe...

just maybe...

that's why...

Note- Written while listenin to 'Everything burns' by Ben Moody feat Anastacia... It isnt original or whatever... Jus the words of the song twisted in a way...

Everything burns...
Lives
Dreams
People...
Whats left behind?

Her life is spent in her corner...
She sits in this corner and watches everything burn...
listens to everyone scream...
Wonders on how long it will take...
For her to feel the heat of the fire...
For her to fear the flames...
How long it will take... for her to burn...

She used to cry...
but now all she does is sing...
A song no one's heard...
and one that no one ever will...
Her tears are lost somewhere inside...
And all she has left is anger...
and this sense of nothingness...
as she watches everything burn...

She sits in her coner
But no one sees her there...
They're too caught up in their world...
The one she used to be part of...
but now that world is burnin...
and she's left on the outside
watchin it all burn away...

Everything burns...
Whats left behind?
Ashes..?
Ashes of hope...
Someone should tell the world what she already knows...
Ashes fade...
So does hope...