2 posts tagged “nothingness”

I was wonderin why I really did cut... and well, these are all the reasons I came up with... will keep updating...

Coz I need to feel. Pain is a feeling, and I need it to tell me I'm still alive

Coz it feels like I've been havin a dream... and I jus' can't wake from it...

Coz it bothers me to see my outer skin look so whole and unbroken while I feel jus' so torn...

To bring myself back, coz I go so far away that I'm afraid that someday, I won't be able to return...

To remind myself.

Coz I can't cry

Coz its a habit

Coz I wonder how much I can really take

Coz I loathe the person I'm turnin into... or maybe hav already become...

Coz I'm afraid of losing control

Coz I prefer pain to nothingness

Coz nothin matters

To watch me heal,... even if it IS jus' on the outside...

Coz I want to remember

Coz I need to forget...

Coz I need to hurt, before rage consumes me... I'm afraid if not me, I'll jus' hurt someone else...

Nothins okay...
And Im tired of hearin that one day it will be...
Coz that days not today
And Im tired of waiting...

Its no big deal...
I can see the moon in the distance...
If I leav soon enough I can still make it...
I dont want to look back...
Dont hold me back with your words...
Let me go...
I'll find my own way...
I dont know where im goin...
All I know is I need to get away...

I amnt goin to anyplace
I am goin away from here
I have to...
Maybe I'm headin to hell
Maybe there's nothin but pain waitin for me...
It doesnt matter
Anything is better than this nothingness
Anythin at all...
Hurt me, I beg you
Let me feel the pain...
Dont try n take the pain away
I hav nothin else with me...
Dont try to make me feel better...
Pain doesnt hurt when its all you'ver ever felt
And it feels better than nothingness...
It feels...
And I need to feel...