2 posts tagged “smokes”
*click*
*light*
*drag*
heh...
At least the day dosn't begin that way...
The first of the day is usually in the second break...
even on the days I decide I won't smoke today... well, someone always wants to go..
and you go along...
company's sake...
But then, you're there so may as well, ne?
After all, there's always tmrw, right?
Except...
every tmrw is an exact repetition of today...
You know...
it wasn't supposed to be this way
*laughs*
But I guess that's what you always say, no matter how things turn out...
Is it a good thing?
That I'm really here?
I dunno...
I really don't...
It doesn't really matter, does it?,,,
Does it?,..
I dunno... too tired to think now...
Too tired...
It's been a while...
I love this...
Love everything shuttin down one by one...
Yeah, so my lungs are goin to die, but well, my liver's keepin it company...
lol, and as my 'friends' say, so is my life...
Doesn't matter...
Why though?
Most of the times, I'm ok with it...
In fact, I'm glad its this way...
I wanted this, no?
A life where I was in total control...
except...
am I?
Yeah, I'm free of people...
and the only place these thoughts find existence (other than in my head) is here...
And no one I know in real life reads themmm...
Jus online 'friends'... too far away to anythin bout it...
Exactly the way I wanted it...
So much more...
I could've had it all...
but then again in a way I guess I do...
Projects? Don't really matter, right?
Marks?
Well, not bankin too much on gettin by five yeas anyhow...
Why do I care now then?
Coz... well... No matter what...
I'll fight as long as I have to.
As long as there's an option..
It may seem like I'm losing...
but right now... stayin alive takes top priority...
and well... whatever helps me make sure I do... it's ok...
Long run?
Honestly speakin, am too worked up bout short run to care...
Someday, I'll leave it all behind...
And be everything I wanted to be...
but for now...
*click*
*light*
*drag*
I'm goin to concentrate on stayin alive...
Strawberry Fields.
No, not the song. (Though I love it completely too)
Those of you who know what I’m talking about deserve to live; the others may please jump off the nearest roof or into the nearest well.
Now that that’s out of the way, and I have absolutely nothing to do but go to a class I’m already late for and I seem to have lost the last of my smokes (@##%!^@%@), I shall attempt to describe what these last three days have been like.
Heaven.
Hmm… that was easy.
But seriously…
I was there. All that stuff bout pretty little children in puffy white clouds who play harps and have beautiful wings… is utter NONSENSE.
Heaven is a rock concert. And not just any, Heaven is strawberry fields.
Why is it such a big deal?
Is it the incredible music? The good food? The free booze? The hope of running into a hot guitarist?
Nah, those things happen in all rock concerts. Normal, ordinary ones (if I dare call a concert that!).
The reason it’s such a big deal is hard to put down in words. Or maybe I jus ended up with too many dead brain cells which used to control the grammar section of my brain!
Either way, the things that make it a big deal start from the minute you step into law school… Actually, back up, they start from before that…
Strawberry Fields is why I got into NLS.
Three days of waking up and reporting to a dry, scorched field, clearing it of all sorts of substances, listenin to people play music you love, running around getting food from everyone for everyone, the occasional stray can of beer, the cigarettes someone always manages to have, the kind of people you meet, the interesting conversations you’re part of, the fence hopping, the headbanging…
These and so many more random little things make Strawberry Fields so special…
*sigh*
I would love to go on… and believe me I can! (Ask my poor room mate, I just can’t shut up about how much I miss SF)
I must go now...
Or I’ll miss the next hour as well!!! More importantly… I have to find my smokes.
Rock on.
Strawberry Fields FOREVER!!!
