3 posts tagged “stars”
She says she’s waiting for dawn
Though she’s never seen daylight
For she keeps her curtains drawn
She looked up at the streetlight.
It seemed to shine into her soul.
Giggling softly, she tried pushing the beam away, but it didn't move.
She glared at it for a while and then slowly stepped out of its range.
Twirling, she laughed, and a lone star twinkled in the distant night sky.
She took a few steps forward, still smiling, and then froze, trying to remember why she was here.
She stood still for a long time.
At the center of the crossing.
The traffic lights fascinated her, especially when they changed colors.
Colors.
She liked colors.
Didn't she?...
She blinked, and then started walking again.
It wasn't exactly a straight line, but it wasn't a drunken walk either.
She remembered she was supposed to look out for policemen, but she didn't remember why.
Was she supposed to go to them?
Hide from them?
Ask them something?
Run as fast as she could?
Confused, she lit a cigarette.
"Smoking. Always smoking." she scolded herself like she was supposed to.
No.
Wait.
Wasn't that someone else?
Another drag, and a silly smile lit her face.
And she twirled again, dark hair clashing with falling rain.
Her laughter echoed softly in empty alleys
and she went around in little circles till she couldn't breathe anymore.
Tired knees hit the wet grass as she collapsed...
and a sob escaped her throat.
"Why do you cry, fair child?" he asked
As he knelt beside the girl
"I only want my memory
Its lost somewhere in this world"
They searched far and wide, but the memory was truly lost.
And then one day, it was already time for frost
So she shooed him and his sparrows to summer
and he cursed at the maiden as she bid him farewell...
But she hates him not
neither does she love
She only needs her memories to build
her stairway to the heavens above...
Till she finds those run-away memories, she needs to make new ones
So...
She laughs at the streetlights
coz they remind her of the sun
and how it will eventually destroy her.
And that could be called a memory, couldn't it?
I'm so so tired.
So very tired.
Tell me, whats the point of it all?...
Its been almost four years... I should have died that nite... I shouldn't have survived...
Sometimes I think that the reason everything is jus so... fucked up... is coz I lived... I cant help but think I was meant to die that day...
How different would things be?...
If I had taken my life that nite...?
And how different would life be if I had never existed...?
Thats all I want to know...
I know I've caused pain here... I jus need to know the extent of the pain...
Atonement...
Thats what this is supposed to be...
But all I do is cause more pain...
More n more...
Who does it help?
My existence?...
I dont need it anymore...
I dont want it...
STOP TRYIN TO SAVE ME...
Let me stay on this tower of ice...
Its cold but I need to be here to survive...
Its the only thing that can contain me... till it's time...
The snow wont stop fallin...
But I dont mind..
It seems so fresh, so pure...
so... untainted...
I should have left...
I shouldnt hav got this "second chance"
I dont want it...
But now, Im cursed to stay...
I'll stay n hold ur hand through the dark...
If you promise not to miss me...
When I leave...
I have no reason to stay...
But Im cursed...
Cursed to exist till the last flake falls...
Till its almost dawn...
And then when the sun's rising...
and the cold's melting away...
I'll look into the sun....
And I'll fade away...
along wid the stars...
and along with the snow..
till all thats left behind with you..
is the sun rising in the sky...
a puddle of cold water slowly warming on the ground
where my tower once stood tall in the snow...
and the memory of a dream...
where all was dark... but I cud stay...
Im sorry but its time... I will fade away...
